Starting tonight, RLGT will be taking a look back at all of the great moments in 2015 by compiling a set of 5 lists including best artists, best albums, best posts, top Canadians, and best songs of the year, dropping every other day this week until we wrap up with our #NYE2016 post. But, before we start this wonderful week of celebrating music and all of this year’s bright spots, we would briefly like to divert our attention to some of the well, simply put, shittier things that happened this year… RLGT Year-End Review starts tonight!
Disclaimer: This is all for the humour. We don’t actually believe all of the stuff in this column is trash, so don’t play yourself. But, 2015 was kinda bummy. Welcome to “Why Random Shit Is Trash” (If you don’t understand the premise yet, check out “Why Macklemore Is Trash”, here)
Why 2015 Was Trash: by Toozy
Ya boy is back with another low-key roasting sesh. Since, yelling “WHAT ARE THOOooo0000OOSEEE” at random objects doesn’t cut it anymore (this should rally be the first thing on my list now that I think about it), I decided to create a cute lil’ list of the top 5 most unsatisfying things that happened in 2015. And no, “dabbing” isn’t one of them, yet. *dabs to self*
1. Meek Mill
This man’s presence on the earth alone makes me cringe, and hearing his name gives me second hand embarrassment. I’ve never seen a man with so much dignity, and confidence, and “street cred” eat as much shit as this guy did in 2015. To make it worse, Drake fans are snitching on him, and the boy might have to go to jail now. Poor guy… but still, fuck him. Pray for Meek in 2016.
2.Kid Cudi’s New Album
If I took the garbage in trash can, ate it whole, pooped it out, put that poop in the trash, sent the trash to the landfill, let it marinate for a while, watched a seagull pick it up and drop it inside and HMV, landing on this album, no one would clean it up cause the wouldn’t be able to see the difference. When I listen to it, it makes me want to become an American citizen and vote for Donald Trump, just so this album can be deported out of the country for contributing to sonic terrorism in 2015.
3. Steve Harvey
He’ll never live Miss Universe down. Ever. His life is done. People finna show up to Family Feud with Colombia flags until this Mr. Potato Head lookin’ ass retires. And I ain’t even mad at that; they boy is actually just pissed DJ Khaled wasn’t chosen to host the show in the first place, but unfortunately, “They don’t want us hostin’ they shows…“. Yet another blunder in 2015, thats right, anotha one.
4. Kanye West’s Clothing Line
I was rootin’ for the boy to get a W with this thing. His Yeezy Season was record 0-0-1. He went from just tryna make affordable luxury clothing, to creating a clothing line that looks so affordable to the point that we’re all looking like we need 5 bucks for a pack of cigarettes. Remember, it’s not homeless, it’s “shot-gun blasted”. Word to Saint-West. Lets all pray for regular sized, non-tattered clothes in 2016… please.
5. The Whip & The Nae Nae
Just in case all of the previous Vine dance crazes didn’t make me want to stick my thumb into a pencil sharpener, the fellas over at Worldstar decided to embrace the “Whip” and the “Nae Nae” in 2015. If that wasn’t bad enough, a couple unfortunate, uncoordinated white people decided to embrace it too. The rest, is trash-can history. (The first clip in the video below sums the death of this trend up, quite nicely)
And there you have it. While 2015 took it’s fair share of L’s (on loan from Meek Mill, mostly), let’s celebrate the great moments too. RLGT Year-end review starts tonight!